


Thank you, Agent Scully! - from Jane & Maura

by katekane



Series: Thank you, Agent Scully! - in celebration of lesbianish television [3]
Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: Bechdel Test Pass, F/F, Fluff, LGBTQ Themes, Television Watching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-16 00:56:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13043169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katekane/pseuds/katekane
Summary: Maura is an X-files virgin, but seems to have insights into its main characters that fly past Jane.Final one out of three shorts fics celebrating the lesbianish television that ties us together. Bo and Lauren from "Lost Girl", Paige and Emily from "Pretty Little Liars", and Jane and Maura from "Rizzoli & Isles" are watching the same episode of The X-files. Each couple relate to Dana Scully in different, but important ways.





	Thank you, Agent Scully! - from Jane & Maura

”What are we watching this evening?” Maura was handing Jane a cold beer. Personally she preferred Merlot served at room temperature, and it was always better to let the wine breathe for a minute or two before she put the glass to her lips.

Uncharacteristically, Jane too waited a bit before taking a sip from her bottle, but for different reasons. ”Seriously, you don’t know _this_ show?! Scully and Mulder? Aliens? No bells ringing??”

Maura thoughtfully tilted her head, but Jane spoke again before she managed to figure out whether the avalanche of questions was rhetorical or not.

”Guess I should stop being surprised by how you can be _so smart_ and yet _clueless_ when it comes to pop culture.” Jane shook her head and finally drank from her bottle, then set it down on the coaster Maura had laid out for her on the sofa table. She did so with an exasperated sigh that probably would have made Maura feel uneasy if Jane had not simultaneously given her thigh a squeeze.

”Alright, this show is called The X-files. Major sci fi hit in the 90s. It was about a government conspiracy covering up an alien invasion, but there were also many monsters-of-the-week stand alone episodes dealing with all thing supernatural from vampires to cloning.”

”Cloning is _not_ supernatural, Jane. As a technique it was invented as early as 1935 when German embryologist Hans Spemann-”

”I’m doing IMDB, not Wikipedia,” Jane interrupted before Maura could get too carried away.

”IMDB?” Maura seemed more confused than ever.

Jane could not suppress the grin, which had found its way to her face. ”Just _watch_ the show, Maur,” she said fondly as she padded her friend’s knee.

For a second Maura seemed ready to object. There was this telling, vertical wrinkle between her eyebrows. It usually appeared when she was annoyed or otherwise dissatisfied and this time it was probably caused by Jane shushing her. So Jane padded her knee once more, this time lingering for a bit, and Maura’s forehead smoothed itself out. Without further ado she made herself comfortable against Jane’s side having long ago discovered that Jane’s shoulder could serve as the perfect headrest.

 

To Jane’s surprise several minutes of concentrated television watching followed. Maura did not even correct Agent Dana Scully’s autopsy techniques. The one eventually interrupting was Jane.

“Jesus, those two should just _get it over_ with!”

” _Language_ , Jane,” came the automatic response somewhere very close to Jane’s left ear. “Get _what_ exactly over with?”

Jane gestured towards Maura’s television with her beer bottle. “The _tension_ between Mulder and Scully could electrify anyone!”

”Impossible. The membrane potential in human cells is only 40 to 80 millivolt. Not anywhere near the voltage required for electrocution.”

”It’s just a _figure of speech_ , Maura. It means they wanna get into each other’s pants. Another figure of speech, by the way – I don’t mean that they _literally_ want to wear each other’s clothes,” Jane added, sarcasm barely disguised.

”Oh.” Maura went quiet, and Jane almost, almost thought she would for once get the final word. But no: “I still disagree. It seems unlikely that Scully and Mulder should want to _be in each other’s pants_ when Agent Scully is clearly a lesbian.”

”She is _so not a lesbian_!” Jane practically slammed her bottle against the table. Her movement was so sudden it forced Maura to give up her comfortable seating arrangement and hold her own head.

”Well, does she have a boyfriend?” she asked simply.

Jane, much to her own irritation, was unable to give an equally simple response. ”Well, I- I never saw the last couple of seasons, so...”

”So the answer is _no_ ,” Maura triumphantly concluded.

”So if you’re single, you’re gay? _That’s_ your argument?” Jane bit back.

”Of course not.” Maura rolled her eyes, a gesture she had picked up from her expressive Italian friend. ”My conclusion is primarily based on Scully’s persona.”

“You mean, because she is an independent, unmarried, female law enforcement member?!” Jane sounded downright horrified now and her hands were throwing what appeared to be gang signs towards the screen. “Maura, I thought _you_ of all people were way above all that nonsense about the _big bad butch cop_!”

”You think Scully is butch?” Maura, unfazed by her friend’s dramatic antics, seriously pondered this for a second. “Well, perhaps. She is certainly _fit_. And she probably has well-defined rectus abdominis muscles under that loose 90s jacket…” Maura’s gaze had been easily holding Jane’s, but now her eyes faltered and aimed somewhat lower, approximately to where her friend’s navel would be. She licked her lips. Then quickly got back on track. “Anyway, it’s the sense I get of Scully’s sexuality, that’s all.”

Her wording made Jane narrow her eyes. “ _Sense_ , you say… What you mean is you’re _guessing_! I didn’t think you ever made guesses, Doctor Maura Isles.” Jane leaned over Maura, trying to use their height difference to intimidate her friend a little.

Maura, however, still remained completely unaffected. “I am posing a _hypothesis_ based on observations. It has nothing to do with guessing. It’s _science_ , Jane.”

Jane saw from Maura’s left eye to her right and back again at little more that an inch’s distance, but there was no trace of insecurity for her to find there. Eventually she fell back against the sofa with a grunt of resignation.

 

It did not lake long, however, before Jane’s defeat became too heavy to bear. One thing was losing to Maura when it came to some neutrino-emphysema-research stuff. But _television_? When it came to television Jane was definitely _superior_.

“It doesn’t matter one bit if Scully prefers men or women or Irish goats, she and Mulder still want each other, _period_ ,” she mumbled grumpily and not quite unlike a three year old on the verge of a tantrum. “I mean, those two are together _constantly_! At work, after work! Two grown-up, attractive people with adult desires, of course something is _bound to happen_ eventually! Even the most rigid sexual orientation couldn’t prevent it!”

“Jane…” Next to her, Maura was uncharacteristically subdued and her attempts at getting words in edgeways were failing.

“And _look_ at them! Tall versus short, intuitive versus scientific. They _complement_ each other _perfectly_!” Jane was clearly warming up to the subject now.

“Jane,” Maura tried, and failed, again.

”And even if that isn’t enough to convince your skeptical scientist brain, then check out how Mulder is constantly putting his hand on Scully’s back. No one, seriously _no one_ who are just platonic friends and colleagues _grope_ each other that much unless something else is brewing.”

” _Jane_!” Maura nearly yelled and finally got through to her friend.

”What?” Jane was a little annoyed at being interrupted now that she was finally getting the upper hand. And now Maura was just sitting there being all quiet and sending her weird looks as if that somehow qualified as communication. Jane frowned. “What is it?”

A nearly invisible nod, more like a movement of her eyes, and one perfectly sculpted raised eyebrow was the only answer Jane received. Her frown deepened as she moved her own eyes, let her gaze fall to the situation that Maura had been trying to convey to her: Jane’s right hand was on Maura’s thigh. Pretty high up on Maura’s thigh. Her left hand was out of sight, but only because it had snuck behind Maura’s back. Maura’s own hands were cradling a wine glass, but her body was resting more against Jane’s than against the sofa pillows.

There wasn’t a hair’s width between them. After an entire week of working in close proximity. On a Friday night. A _date_ night.

  
  
Jane swallowed audibly as reality sank in. “ _Oh_ …” 


End file.
